Self-Definition

I recently came across a series of 36 pictures and captions on the web that intrigued me. The pictures were double portraits of 72 people in the Emory University community by Dawoud Bey.  The portraits were commissioned by the University’s Transforming Community Project. After reading the statements that accompanied the pictures, it became clear from context that each of the 72 people had been asked “Who are you?”, and their on-the-spot verbal responses put into print.

I only intended to read a few of the statements, those of colleagues I’ve known over the years, but somehow got hooked by the very personal revelations being made. Many resembled church confessionals or something you would put in your diary. The self-definitions were diverse, as you would expect from the Transforming Community Project, and were related to work, religion, family, music, and hobbies. The more I read the more I wondered what I would say. What would I dare to put it in print? Could a human life be self-described in a single paragraph? Probably not, but it sounded like an interesting exercise. At the very least it prompts some worthwhile reflection. So with more effort than the exercise deserves I offer the following, as if the previous 100,000 words in this blog didn’t do the job.


When I married Jean in 1976 I decided to become the best husband and father on the planet, and that quest defines me best, but I am also a grandfather, son, brother and friend – cherished roles that I embrace much like that of husband and father. Strangers are friends I haven’t met yet, and friends are family that I choose for myself. I love my family. My profession is not who I am and does not define me. Work is the means by which I obtain food and shelter and maintain my chosen lifestyle. Work is what I do to permit time and activities with my family. I am a runner and wannabe athlete whose ambition has always exceeded his ability. I enjoy the athletic struggle, the sporadic modest achievement, and admire my colleagues engaged in the same struggle. I believe in living a principled life of Courage, Benevolence, Respect, Honesty, Honor, and Loyalty. I don’t claim to have lived the ideal life, but I do claim the pursuit of the dream. I’ve enjoyed my life, and I still enjoy life, but I won’t miss what the world has become. I will, however, miss you.

Tom
February 10, 2011