Running Prey

This happened back in 2017 - back when I wrote it.

It is not often that prey present themselves so readily.  He was a young guy, roughly 40 years old, dressed in sweatshirt and sweatpants even though it was only 55 degrees Monday morning.  When he passed me, I guessed he was about 6'4” and 220 pounds.  Given that he was overdressed for the weather it seemed likely that running was not his original sport; more likely a former football or basketball player, or both.  It's not that all distance runners are sparrows.  Jack Bacheler was 6'7” and a beast of a runner in the 60s and 70s, but he was only 170 pounds, not 220 pounds and overdressed.  That's what got me started.

I'd run a long and hard 10-miler on Saturday, and an easy 6 on Sunday, but still needed some easy recovery miles that Monday morning.   I felt lousy after 3 miles and was about to head back to the car and quit for the day when I heard footsteps behind me.  “Hmmm?  What's that?  I can't turn around and quit now.  I'll look like a quitter, or worse, a coward!”

He shadowed me for a mile, and I didn't pick up the pace because I still felt poorly, but then he passed me at my 4-mile mark.    That's when I discovered his size, age, and dress.  While I was pondering it all he got 40 yards ahead of me, but by the time my mind came to a conclusion, my body was already matching his speed and even closing the distance a bit.  I didn't intentionally cause it; it just happened.

There was absolutely no excuse to be racing on a recovery day, but this wasn't racing, right?  I was just going to keep the man honest.  He needed and wanted an honest workout, not a simple jog around Stone Mountain.  Maybe he'd like to find out what he has in those long legs.  I decided I could help with that.  I thought, “Let's see what you got?”, both to him and to myself.

I coughed.  I coughed every minute or so.  Loudly.  Just so he'd know I was still back there.  He looked back.  Often.  I enjoyed imagining that he was nervous about getting passed back.  Runners hate getting passed.  I imagined he wanted to know if I'd closed the gap.  One time he spun around in a circle to get a good look at me, and that made me chuckle.  Never saw a runner do that before.  I was pretty sure I was stressing this guy badly.

My body felt dreadful from Saturday's long run, but running faster actually felt better than running slowly, so I picked up the pace a bit, and so did he.  I kept coughing occasionally, and he kept looking back, which only encourages a competitive runner, not that I am one of those.  No, not me.  I drove him forward like a cowboy driving cattle.

Over the next two miles what started as 9:30/mile pace became 9:00, and then 8:30, and then 8:00.  I wanted to torture him for as long as he could handle the increasing pace, but as he approached his 3^rd mile, which was my 6^th mile, the heat got to him, and he slowed to take off his sweatshirt and tie it around his waist.  That's when I caught him.  It was over.  He was toast.  I never saw him again, and I mentally chuckled all the way back to my car. 

What's not fun about that?

Woodrow Wilson

I came across these words while watching a PBS documentary on WW I. They are from a speech Woodrow Wilson gave to the joint houses of Congress on 02 April 1917.

“The world must be made safe for democracy. Its peace must be planted upon the tested foundations of political liberty. We have no selfish ends to serve. We desire no conquest, no dominion We seek no indemnities for ourselves, no material compensation for the sacrifices we shall freely make We are but one of the champions of the rights of mankind We shall be satisfied when those rights have been made as secure as the faith and the freedom of nations can make them.”

It sounds like our national policy for the last 100 years.

Annual Report

Here are a few closing words I placed in my annual report one year. It didn’t generate a reaction of any kind. It makes me wonder if anyone reads the annual report; either that or they have put me on “ignore” status.

Institutional Diplomacy

With no fear whatsoever we offer the facts provided in this report. With some trepidation we also offer some opinions and perceptions. We realize all too well that if the opinions are unpopular, the King may choose to kill the messenger. The movie character Jerry Maguire naively believed his organization would benefit from the open and honest communication contained in his mission statement. It was instead the end of his career in that organization. We shouldn’t “kill the messenger” bearing unpopular views, or views with which we disagree. Honest opinions are hard to come by and should be encouraged. It is better to have issues out in the open than to have those issues undermining the operation.

It’s been said that diplomacy is an obstacle to clear and effective communication. With that thought in mind we hope that this report minimizes diplomacy and maximizes communication.

Dave Rosenberg

I was on the high school wrestling team, and Dave Rosenberg was the coach. I loved those afternoons in the wrestling room duking it out with my teammates and busting our butts for Rosenberg.

Near the end of a particularly brutal workout Rosenberg yelled out “Anybody tired yet?” Even though we were all exhausted, we wanted to pretend we were men, so we yelled back, “No, we're not tired, coach!” Rosenberg replied, “Then I haven't worked you guys hard enough!” We all laughed, and the workout continued.

After more drills and more calisthenics Rosenberg again yelled out “Anybody tired yet?” We'd suffered for our last response, so we switched to the opposite answer, “Yeah, coach, we're exhausted!” This time Rosenberg replied, “You guys must be out of shape! You need more work!”, and we all laughed, and the workout continued for another indefinite period of time.

A great guy.

Dave Rosenberg is in the Cedar Rapids Washington Hall of Fame http://washington.cr.k12.ia.us/activity/index.php?id=1888

and also in the Coe College Hall of Fame

http://www.coeathletics.com/hallOfFame/155.php

Dismissed

I’ve had to dismiss several employees for cause over the years. A couple of times the issue was as simple as job abandonment; the employee simply quit showing up for work. In those cases I didn’t really dismiss the employee as much as they effectively dismissed themselves. Dismissal is fairly straightforward in job abandonment. The only issue is how many days of non-attendance and no communication to tolerate before proceeding with dismissal.

In the other cases there were job performance issues; a much tougher conundrum, especially in these days of 10% unemployment. (The year is 2010 as of this writing) To dismiss an employee knowing that they might not easily find a job, and thereby lose their car, lose their home, and possibly end up homeless is especially disturbing. I comfort myself with the knowledge that I turned the other cheek many times, and every opportunity was given to turn the job performance around. The staff members were warned, counseled, retrained, and suspended before dismissal occurred. Human resources was consulted multiple times to be sure that we were giving the employee every opportunity to turn the job performance around.

I hope that my colleagues fully realize the efforts I made to save the jobs of these folks. I hope that they were wondering what took me so long to take action. Dismissal was justified months ago, but feelings of compassion, tolerance, and mercy kept me from doing what had to be done.

I cannot think of one of these dismissals where the staff member was incapable of performing the job. They could have done the job. The problem is that they chose not to do the job. They refused to adjust their behavior. They did not comply with the demands of the job, of which there were few. And so, in these cases they, too, abandoned their jobs in a more subtle fashion.

Still, in spite of all the logical gymnastics and justifications, it was emotionally disturbing. I was left with feelings of frustration and anger. Why did they force me into this position? Why did they make me do what I had to do? They had to do their jobs, and did not. I had to do my job, and I did it.

I continue to wrack my brain. I was a responsible party in these events and had an active hand in them. Was there something that I could have done that I did not do? Was there something I could have said or done that would have turned these folks around from their self-destructive paths? Did I do my full duty?

My rational self knows I did right, but it is accompanied by a lot of self-doubt, mental anguish, and sleepless nights. A more callous boss would do a better job of tolerating the self-torment following the dismissal of a staff member, but I don’t think that makes them a better boss.

Spring of 2010

Management

I've been working since the summer of 1968; that’s 41 years as of this writing in August 2009. Over the years I've had ample opportunity to observe a variety of managers and the changing face of my organization. As a part of my employment I've attended at least one conference each year as well as numerous internal training seminars. I've also had the opportunity to be in a managerial position for a fair number of years. So while I don’t have an MBA, and I've never studied leadership or management in an organized manner, I have still developed a few opinions along the way.

I thought it would be interesting to write my opinions down. I doubt that anything that follows is an original thought of mine, but what the hey, here it is -

• I think management techniques learned in classes and seminars resemble attempts to manipulate employees, which is quickly recognized by the staff and resented. I think manipulation is deceitful. I think being honest and genuine is the one and only true leadership technique, if you want to call it that.
• I think that the term “manager” sounds like a person who manipulates. I would prefer to think of a manager as someone who serves in roles where they lead, direct, and supervise. I do not mind the term “manager” if it is thought of in its most benevolent form. It is this kind of manager that I am referring to hereafter.
• I believe you should hire good people and let them do their jobs; definitely NOT a new thought. Give them the tools they need, which includes authority. Note well: You cannot have responsibility without authority. Don’t micromanage, just get the hell out of the way and let them do their jobs. Good people will do great work given the proper respect; respect in the form of letting them do their job.
• I think as a manager I need to talk less and listen more.
• I think employees need a great deal of encouragement to speak their minds.
• I think that it is more important for a manager to hear disagreement from the staff than their agreement.
• I think that managers should think of employees as colleagues.
• I think that open dialogue and discussion from colleagues about operational issues is the most valuable aspect of an office environment.
• I think employees should be praised publicly and corrected privately.
• I think employees should be corrected gently unless they are entirely clueless.
• I think employees should be corrected carefully so as not to make them tentative in the execution of their jobs.
• I think it should be okay to tell the clueless that they might do better elsewhere. (not always permitted)
• I think that employees who need frequent or heavy correction should be dismissed. (not always permitted)
• I think employers should be able to hire and dismiss at will. (not always permitted)
• I think that employees should work hard and give what is asked of them, or go elsewhere.
• I don’t think an employee can meet your expectations and do what you want, unless you communicate your wishes. Employees cannot read your mind. You cannot get something just by thinking it; you have to DO something, even if it is “only” communication.
• I think employees should be coached throughout the year and there should be no surprises in the annual review.
• I think that upon receiving a complaint a manager should not hear just one side, or two sides, but all sides of the issue.
• I think managers should tell snitches/gossips/accusers that they will take no action and give their stories no credence unless the staff member is willing to repeat the story in front of the subject person; a standard principle of American justice is the right to face your accuser.
• I think everyone in the organization should follow the chain of command.
• I think organizations are created by people, and are run by people, as a service for other people.
• I think the people IN the organization are just as important as the people being served.
• I think organizations are too quick to sacrifice good people for the good of the organization.
• I think the old adage that employees are an organization’s most important asset is true, and should be proclaimed publicly at every opportunity by the manager. I think that thought should be lived, not just proclaimed.
• I think that talk is cheap and that organizations need to live by the adages they proclaim.
• I think you cannot improve the circumstances of one employee by suppressing another.
• I believe in the Great Place to Work principles of Credibility, Respect, Fairness, Pride, Camaraderie, and Trust. I think these principles apply to managers and employees in equal measure.

(Written August 2009)

Retirement

I’ve decided to retire. Actually, I made that decision decades ago. I’ve always hoped to live long enough, and save enough bucks, that I could retire someday. That day is near, so long as you realize that the term “near” is relative.

Making the decision when to retire has made all the difference in the world to me. In recent weeks I have been happier than I have been in years, and I can only attribute this to having set a definite retirement date in my mind. Now that I know that the time is finite, I can suffer through anything. Like seeing the finish line at the end of a marathon, I can actually see the end rather than merely conceiving of the end in my mind, and the reality of it makes all the difference in my demeanor.

I will render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s during the remaining months. I will do my duty, but soon my days of servitude will be at an end, and soon enough I will be “free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty I am free at last”. Soon enough all of the work issues that have bedeviled me will be in my past. Not soon, but soon enough to grant me an elusive peace of mind.

You might recall the old adage “Don’t sweat the small stuff “, and the parenthetical adage, “It’s all small stuff”. I’ve become the poster child for the phrase. I’ve taken a virtual chill pill. “This too shall pass” has become my daily mantra. I am approaching the enlightenment achieved by Mad Magazine’s famous fictional character Alfred E. Neuman – “What, me worry?” (I lie, but I’m working on it.)

Written January 2012

Retirement September 2012

Dad and Mom Traveling (Dick and Gladys)

So we had to move Mom (Gladys) out of the house and into assisted living in August 2013. In October 2013 we decided we needed to clear out the house and sell it before some bad people took the opportunity to clear out the unoccupied house for us. In the process I acquired several hundred, maybe as many as five hundred, postcards collected by my folks during their travels. I am using these postcards to send a note to my grand-munchkins once or twice a week just to give them the old-time thrill of receiving mail and letting my daughter know what modest chores I am attempting during retirement.

Within the boxes of postcards that my mother kept is a handwritten list in my mother's beautiful script of their travels. Since I have not written anything new since my retirement in September 2012, and this will be my first post in months, I thought I'd get back in the swing of things by simply retyping my mom's list here. The list of sites is quite impressive. My folks must have loved to travel.

When looking at the dates keep in mind that I, as the last kid of three, graduated from college in 1974, and Dad retired a couple years later once I was no longer a financial drain. Also, Dad died in the fall of 1984, so the trips after that my Mom was traveling on her own or with a tour group. I will attempt to type the list exactly as Mom wrote it.

The list -

1977 Apr to May Atlanta – Fla

1977 Sep             Canada – Bob's

1978 Spring w Walt Okla – NM – Grand Canyon – Phoenix – Tuscon – el Paso – San Antonio – corpus Christie – Beaumont – Atlanta

1979 Jan & Feb     Southern Trip – SE Georgia – Gulf Coast – Florida – Mississippi

1979 Fall               Cape Breton – East Coast – Boston – NH, Maine, etc

1980                      Austin, TX – California - Atlanta

1981 Fall               Bill's (NJ) SE Coast – Tom's Thanksgiving (Atlanta)

1981?                    Canada

1982 Sept              Canada & West Coast

1983 Jan – Mar 07 Marco Island, FL

1983 June               to NJ

1983 Oct                Atlanta & NJ

1984 Jan                 Hawaii

1985 July                Minn St Paul

1985 Sept               Door County

1985 Dec                Chgo Trip

1986 Mar                Texas New Orleans

         June               Tour St Louis

         July                 Cottage NJ

         Sept                 Milw.

         Sept 10-12       Theater Trip Minn

         Sept 27            To Ark

         Dec                  Atlanta

1987 Feb/Mar           Calif

         May                  LasVegas

         Dec                  Atlanta and Gainseville GA

1988 July                   Topsail Beach, NC

1989 July                   Topsail Beach

         Xmas                Al & Joan – Bloomington

1990 July                  Topsail Beach

         Xmas               Atlanta

1991 Jan                   Florida / Nassau

The list ends with the January 1991 entry. The boxes of postcards indicate that there were many more trips that were not on Mom's list, both before and after, but there are so many of them and no way to know when they went to these places. There was a trip to Spain in there sometime and another one to Sweden. Ah well.

Ah fooey, the blog doesn't support the nicely tab-formatted list that I put in my word processor.  Drats.  I'll have to insert a bunch of spaces to neaten it up.  Her list is much prettier that this.

All for now.

Last Letter From Dad

From August 17, 1976 through June 11, 1984 I collected 33 letters from my dad. 

The hand-written letters are all in CAPS and are difficult to decipher.  Some are typed, and others typed using triple carbon copies so Al, Bill and I could each get a copy.  Ever so frugal, Dad typed others on motel stationary because the stationary was free in those days. I kept the letters because I thought my dad was a bit of a character, and the letters were sometimes corny, but mostly I kept them because I suspected his time was limited and Dad’s descendants wouldn’t know him other than through my lies and exaggerations.

Here is my dad’s last letter written June 11, 1984. This letter was written just over a month before my son, John, was born and Dad was diagnosed with a fatal brain cancer.  It was only a few months later that Dad died of that cancer. (September 29, 1984)  Dad (Richard Francis Millen) was just short of his 68^th birthday on June 27 as of the letter listed below.  John is about to be born and Ann is 2 yrs 8 months.  I will type it exactly the way he typed it – pretty clean typing for the typewriter era.  Dad was having some serious cognitive and motor issues from the cancer by July 23, but I can only speculate whether the cancer had any impact on this letter. 

Dad is clearly in a humorous mood, griping about having nothing to gripe about.

I don’t recall him ever using an apostrophe when typing.  It was probably too much bother.

June 11, 1984

 Dear Tom and Jean and assorted little ones wherever they may be:

We understand the last few weeks of pregnancy are only enjoyable because they are almost over.  So reminding you of that is about the most cheerful thought I have had in the last two days.  One of those periods when you run out of energy for very much of anything and it appears old age is gaining a lot faster than you think it oughter. [sic]  So you want to buy a boat? [Our family had a boat for many years]

[Short section of CLEAN humor deleted here as it might be misunderstood by readers.]

Anything for a change of pace or a change of this peace that is boring me to the ultimate.  Guess it is time to look at cemetery lots again.  On top of that the corn aint in. 

Yup  rain and cold so bad the air conditioner cant even be checked out.  We have the new furnace in and must pay for it on the 18^th.  So we pay whether or not it can heat the house or not as it is only been cold enough to have it on heat to bring it up from 65 outside.  Its been 55 to 65 outside so much that the airconditioner cant be given a real test as it only goes up to 84 a couple of days since the 31^st of May.  My gosh there I am griping away and it is only 11 days that we could check it out anyway.  It sure is a lot more May weather than June, infact May has been as  cold as April most years. 

Lets see about bad conditions I can gripe about.  Gladys is so unsympathetic to this mood tha I cant even get an argument no matter what I say.  She just stands around and laughs at all the great ideas.  Tom, never marry an even tempered woman.  They will gripe hell out of you by sailing by your moods with out even getting mad.  Such poise and grace should be reserved to the angels as it  is damn annoying in a human being who tolerates you better than you tolerate her.  It puts you down as a miserable human being when your ego cant stand such perfection in your spouse.  So Jean throw a snit once in awhile so Tom wont be weighed down by being married to the perfect woman like I have had to contend with all these 39+ years.  Of course Tom will likely take his mothers side as she always deserves any credit there is for staying married 39+ years.

We went to see a Cubs game when they played Atlanta and sorry Tom the Cubs walloped the Braves that day.  Then went on up to Wawautosa to see Phils and all his grandchildren Thur Friday and Sat. nights.  Left Sunday as tired again from all the activity.  Karen and Nancy have their kids in everything and the girls are in lots of things too.  Along with those great husbands Pete and Steve.

[penciled in, all in caps, as always]

SO ALL WELL IF UNHAPPY HERE IN C/R

Mom and Dad Millen

Running Truism

A runner's truism: 

It's not too bad if it starts raining in the middle of a run, but it is a real drag to step out of the car into the rain to begin a run.