Stone Mountain Enclave Rules (finally)

So repeating some of last weeks’ posting, we had this group of runners, that wasn’t really a group, and didn’t have a name, but did have some informal organization in the form of rules. The rules were unspoken and commonly understood by the old-timers. Rookies only learned the rules through their unintentional infractions and incurring the resulting verbal harassment by members of the group. So then, what were the stinkin’ unspoken rules?

1. The first mile was always a warm-up. Thou shalt never begin the serious part of the workout during the first mile. It simply made good sense, especially since many of us were reaching middle age. To immediately dive into a hard workout was to invite injury, and friends don’t let friends injure themselves. The first mile was always held at a conversational pace, and anyone who pushed that pace was verbally castigated by the rearmost members of the pack. “Where the hell you think you’re going, ass-h**es! Slow the F down!”

2. Workout proposals were discussed during the first mile. It was considered bad form to simply bolt into a hard workout at the first mile mark without announcing your intentions. Runner’s etiquette dictated that you state your proposed workout so that others could invite themselves along or propose alternatives. It was the friendly thing to do. After all, if you wanted to run alone, why did you show up to run with us in the first place? Oftentimes we’d split into multiple workout groups depending on the number of proposals and according to ability. There were always a few who were just out for a long sociable slow run who would do exactly that.

3. The day’s route was also discussed during the first mile as a subset of the workout discussion. A friendly sociable person invites their friends to weigh in on the route as well as the workout. There was the 2-mile dead end road, the 5-mile loop, the 8-mile loop, and the 10-mile bicycle trail to the high school, and every combination thereof to get whatever distance you desired. There were also numerous trails available in the park, but these were rarely used on the weekend. The weekend runners were wary of the trails. Hal L. said he trained too hard and too long to waste his efforts by spraining an ankle on the trails. One of the few times Mike L. ran the trails he fell and cracked his head open on a rock, which cut the run short (major foul) and necessitated a trip to the emergency room for stitches. Mike used to trip on the tiny crack between segments of the sidewalk, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that he fell.

4. If you decided to run with whoever was doing the easy sociable run that day, it was also against the rules to pick up the pace unannounced. It was socially unacceptable to surreptitiously pick up the pace and try to lure the slower runners into something faster than was their intention. If you wanted to pick up the pace, that was fine, but you had to announce your intention so that you wouldn’t screw up the other fellow’s workout. And when you picked up the pace you needed to mosey off significantly faster than the slow folks. It was against the rules to pick it up a little bit and just hang-out there 50 to 100 yards in front, and thereby entice the slow folks into more workout than they wanted that day. If you announced that you were going to pick it up, you had to so significantly, and it better-by-god be significant enough that you eventually disappear around the bend.

5. It was well known and understood that runner’s lie like fishermen, but this was only appropriate behavior at the starting line of races. Workouts were a whole ‘nuther kettle-of-fish. When proposing a workout pace we insisted on honesty within 10-15 seconds per mile. It wasn’t fair to trick a buddy into running a pace faster than what was originally proposed. If you said you were going to do a 4-mile pickup at 6:30/mile pace, then etiquette required that you attempt to do exactly that so you didn’t trick a buddy into doing something too fast and might get him injured. It was okay if you were feeling good and having a good day to go a little bit faster than announced, but if you went too fast you would get your butt chewed out. Theoretically, we didn’t race during workouts, but our workouts were hard enough that they often felt like race-worthy efforts.

6. Everyone understood that you never asked anyone to ease up so that you could keep up. The fittest runners had longer and faster workouts, and were never compromised by those who weren’t at the same fitness level. Everyone had different constraints on their training time due to job, spouse, school, kids, and whatever else was in their life. None of us was running professionally. None of us was running up to our ability due to training constraints. Everyone did what they could. No one was asked to do less than they could.

7. Conversation during a run always leads to BS. Marvin H. had a reputation for being full of BS. At the beginning of a run when you heard Marvin H. speak, you had an obligation to call out “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP”, and excuse yourself for not turning off your BS detector. We would all then reach for our waistbands to turn off our virtual BS detectors and someone would say, “Go ahead, Marvin. It’s safe now.”

8. At the end of the hard portion of the run, if anybody was in sight you were obligated to mill about or run back to pick them up so they could join you for the warm-down. It was against the rules to run hard all the way to the cars. If you were in sight of the leaders when it was time to warm-down, you had earned the right to be included in the warm-down and finish the run with the lead group. The last 1-2 miles was always run slow and easy so that nobody in sight got left behind. Also, friends don’t let friends get injured, and not warming down from a hard run was to invite injury.

9. And finally, the only real rule was, “There ain’t no rules!”

Stone Mountain Enclave Rules

From the online Merriam Webster Dictionary –

enclave: a distinct territorial, cultural, or social unit enclosed within or as if within foreign territory

Decades ago, when I was relatively young, I belonged to a group of runners that met each Saturday and Sunday morning at Stone Mountain Park. And with that opening statement I feel that I have already begun to deceive you. The word “group” implies there might have been some organization involved. This is not true. We had a saying – “the only rule is there AIN’T no rules!”

And the first statement is also incorrect because it is stated in the past tense as if the group no longer exists. The group still exists, but it is a mere shadow of its former self. We once had at least 10 showing up each morning and sometimes as many as 20 or more. Alas, the kids grow up and the parents grow old. We now average 2 or 3 each morning, and occasionally it is just me.

The title of this post is also misleading. There never was a name for this group of runners. Many names were proposed over the years, some of them discussed seriously, but as good-humored anarchists we eventually shouted all of them down, but only after ridiculing the proposer, his/her spouse/partner/significant other, kids (if any), domicile, pets, and manner of transportation.

The only thing we had in common was that we chose to collect at the same place and time to run each weekend. Most had a ball sport somewhere in their background; I may have been the only one who did not play with balls in high school and college, but we had all come around to distance running as our chosen avocation as young (mentally and emotionally immature) adults.

We had representatives from both genders and multiple ethnic groups. Each of us had been invited by a member or referred to the group by a neighbor or friend, or the friend of a friend who knew of this group who ran at Stone Mountain Park. We welcomed all who came, and excluded no-one, but how else would you find us at 0730 on a weekend morning at an obscure point on the planet if not given directions? Anyone who drove up at the right time and looked remotely capable of running got an invitation to join us.

Finding a compatible group of runners to train with is not as simple as it might seem unless you are exceedingly tolerant. Most running groups are “too” something – too fast, too slow, too profane, too sacrilegious, too religious, too political, too polite, too passive, too competitive and so on. So we’ve had a number of folks join us for a period of time and then just disappear. I hope they didn’t find us “too” something, but instead just lost the desire to experience masochism via long runs.

Even though we weren’t an organized group per se, and we didn’t have a name, there were still rules. They were unspoken rules that were closely observed and enforced through profane verbal reprimands. So having said all of that as preamble, I find I’ve reached the bottom of my page and have thereby fulfilled my weekly quota of words. Next week – the rules, provided I can remember a few of them. I’ve written all of this on faith that I will remember some of the rules and they will be mildly entertaining.

Stock Market Crash (2011)

A young acquaintance of mine admitted to being amused by the most recent (ongoing) stock market crash of August 08-10, 2011. I found little amusing in the crash and felt his statement was callous.

Many of us have been working since dirt was invented and are still working to acquire a nest egg that we can retire on. A sizeable percentage of that nest egg just disappeared. I’ve been working since 1967 (44 years) and fulltime since 1974 (37 years). After a lifetime of what feels like indentured servitude this stock market crash may have just sentenced me to several more years of hard labor. He finds this funny? I don’t.

A great many others, like his parents, have been retired for several years and are relying on the income from the assets it took them a lifetime of work to acquire. A significant percentage of these assets disappeared over a matter of days. His parents may now find it necessary to reenter the workforce at a time when the unemployment rate is 9.1%. Finding a job when you are in your 60’s in this job market will not be easy. They will be lucky to find jobs as baggers at Kroger. I don’t find that amusing either.

BAH!

Ben Franklin Epitaph

Again, another tidbit from the book I recently finished –

Benjamin Franklin wrote an epitaph for his gravestone in 1728 when he was 22 years old.

The body of

B. Franklin, Printer

(Like the Cover of an Old Book

Its Contents torn Out

And Stript of its Lettering and Gilding)

Lies Here, Food for Worms.

But the Work shall not be Lost;

For it will (as he Believ'd) Appear once More

In a New and More Elegant Edition

Revised and Corrected

By the Author.

As his death approached in 1790 at the age of 84 he directed that his gravestone read
“Benjamin and Deborah Franklin”
and nothing more than that.


Tom
August 2011

Ben Franklin at Retirement

I got tickled today by a Benjamin Franklin quote I came across in the book, The First American: The Life and Times of Benjamin Franklin by H. W. Brands.

Benjamin Franklin retired from the printing business in 1748 at the age of 42. He wrote the following to his friend Cadwallader Colden.

"I am settling my old accounts and hope soon to be quite a master of my own time, and no longer (as the song has it) at every one's call but my own . . . I am in a fair way of having no other tasks than such as I shall like to give my self, and of enjoying what I look upon as a great happiness, leisure to read, study, make experiments, and converse at large with such ingenious and worthy men as are pleased to honour me with their friendship or acquaintance, on such points as may produce something for the common benefit of mankind, uninterrupted by the little cares and fatigues of business."

I don't feel compelled to produce something for the common benefit of mankind, but the rest of it sounds pretty good to me.

Young folks may not appreciate Ben's sentiment, but I expect the retired and nearly retired will.

To work as I wish, or not at all
To be the master of my own time
To associate with people of my choosing
To read, ponder, wander, and pursue whatever interests me
To be free of the everyday hassles and aggravations of the work world

It would be peace, harmony, bliss, ecstasy, heaven

Tom
August 2011