Swimming Potpourri: John

For John’s “players to be named later”, aka kid(s) YEARS in the future –

This one is a mishmash of random swimming related memories about John.

1. When John was a munchkin, Jean signed him up for a program of swim lessons called “Swim America” at the Mountain Park Pool. We’d been making frequent trips to the pool as a family, so John was familiar with the water, but we wanted him to have formal training on specific skills. The program was designed to teach roughly 10 skills whereupon the child would “graduate”.

One day the instructor approached Jean after the class to say that John had passed all of the skills early on, but loved the swimming so much that she hated to graduate him out of the class. She related how he did everything she asked with the enthusiasm of a puppy fetching a ball, and clearly wanted to be asked to perform the skills over and over again. She said she would be happy to have John stay in the class until the 10-12 weeks were over as he was no trouble at all. We let him stay in the pool for about 18 years.


2. We signed John up for year-round swimming with the Dynamo Swim Club as he was entering the fifth grade in 1995. His progress was steady and continuous throughout his career. It seems like there were a couple of years when the coaches approached us in an apologetic fashion mid-year to say that John needed to be moved up to the next group. Perhaps they were embarrassed because the higher group required higher fees. They usually promoted kids at the start of a new year but they hated to waste John’s time when he was clearly ready to join the next group.  Green, Gold, Age Group 3, Age Group 1, and Seniors; it was fun, as parents, to watch the progression. There was always some new accomplishment to be vicariously proud of.


3. When John was entering the 8th grade Dynamo lost his Age Group coach, Heidi Creed. I know, “where did they look?” ha-ha. They wanted to move John and some others up to the Seniors group which previously was made up entirely of high school students. Having some middle school kids in the group was a new wrinkle and I was against it. Swimming with the Senior group meant more than just associating with high school kids who were above his maturity level. It also meant getting up at 4:30am several days a week to swim an early morning workout from 5am-7am and then wolfing down some breakfast before going to middle school. John was willing to bike to the pool in order to do it. Jean and John won the argument (of course) with Jean volunteering to drive John to the pool in the morning. John did well in the new environment.


4. I was uncomfortable that entire fall when John was swimming with the Senior group while still enrolled in middle school. When the team arranged a Halloween group outing to one of those haunted houses, I volunteered as a chaperone. I wanted to see how the high school kids treated John and whether John was being properly deferential to his more mature and physically developed teammates. John was doing their workouts, and keeping up, and as an 8th grader that could be extremely annoying to an upperclassman. I was concerned there might be some reprisals or bullying.

The group went to a fast food dump on Jimmy Carter Boulevard after the haunted house. John was appropriately deferential to his older teammates and was the last in line to get his food. When John and I reached the dining room we found all of his teammates and coaches tightly packed around a long set of tables they’d pushed together with no empty seats available for John. John and I picked a two-spot nearby so we could at least hear the conversation at the big table.

I didn’t know what the social hierarchy was. Was this snub intentional? This could have been one of those well-orchestrated pranks on the new kid to see how he was going to fit in. Was he supposed to know his place on the totem pole and sit alone, ostracized? Had John already annoyed everyone in the group, and this was his punishment, to be excluded from the group? Was John supposed to stick up for himself and demand a place at the table? I had no idea what was going on, and whether it was intentional or not.

So John and I quietly sat down at a table nearby and began to eat by ourselves. Ouch. It hurt me quite badly to see John treated this way. I don’t know if John felt the hurt. All of these ugly thoughts were racing through my head about how mean teenagers could be when Grant Kirby, one of the seniors, spoke up. I will never, ever, forget Grant Kirby saying. “Hey, John, what are you doing over there? Come on guys, make some space. Make some space for John!” And with those words he pushed his chair back and to the side to include John at the table with the others. All the others followed Grant’s lead and did likewise.

For that one single moment I will always remember Grant Kirby fondly. The exclusion of John was apparently an oversight and unintentional, and Grant Kirby’s leadership rectified what could have become a very painful memory for me and for John. I thanked Grant in front of his parents several months later. That was back in 1999, and I still remember it in 2010.

For years I’ve told John that you never know who is watching you or what they will remember about you, so you have to be your best at every moment. This one moment is the one that I will remember about Grant Kirby.


5. As the spring swim season came to a close each year Coach Hugh would make an appeal to the parents that they coordinate their summer vacation plans with him. Coach Hugh needed to know what swim meets the kids could and could not attend, and gear the workouts toward particular meets. Each season typically culminates in a meet at the highest level the swimmer can qualify for, be it state, junior nationals, region, nationals, or Olympic trials.

Our family went to Topsail Beach, NC each summer in early August. This coincided with the close of the summer swim meet season. John was qualifying for some big swim meets around John’s 8th or 9th grade year when we approached Coach Hugh to coordinate our summer trip to the beach. When we told Coach Hugh when we were planning to go to the beach he said, “Swimmers of John’s caliber don’t take vacations.” That was the end of our summer vacations at the beach; major bummer.

Jean and I have giggled over that quote for many years and repeated it to each other many times, but not because we are making fun of Hugh. It’s just that we were completely caught by surprise and had no idea that John had reached a certain “caliber”. We were astonished that such a statement would apply to OUR son. When did this happen? How did this happen? We knew he was making progress, but geez, we didn’t see this coming. “Swimmers of John’s caliber don’t take vacations.” We took it as a compliment and are still amused by our own ignorance at that time. Whodathunkit?