Friend

Over a year ago I stumbled across this description of what it means, and does not mean, to be a friend.  I cannot imagine what could be added, or taken away, that would improve the statement. The only thing needed is updating the language to the 21st century.


Friend
"-one who will not censure or mock his friend when absent; who will defend him whenever he hears him being slighted or ridiculed; who will consider friendship more important than his own reputation for being acute, witty, and able to raise a laugh; who will not divulge a secret that has been confided to him either to have a subject for gossip or to show himself off; who will not abuse the familiarity and confidence of his friend in order to supplant and surpass him; who will not envy his good fortune; who will be solicitous of his welfare, obviate and repair his misfortunes; and who will be ready to assist him in his desires and needs-"
-- Giacomo Leopardi 1798-1837


You’d have to be God to be this perfect, but wouldn’t it be a comfort to have a friend as dependable as this, and wouldn’t it be personally fulfilling to BE a friend as dependable as this. It’s worthwhile just to define the role of friend so clearly, but it seems to be an impossible achievement to be this selfless. I can’t imagine ever being this good, but I can imagine trying to be this good.


The only way to have a friend is to be a friend.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson 1803-1882