Black and White

When my dad was in the hospital in 1984 being treated for brain cancer, and ultimately succumbing to that disease, I was able to spend a week with him at the hospital. The Olympics were on TV that week and we had a great time watching all the events between radiation treatments. Just weeks earlier Dad had been in pretty poor shape, but he seemed to be back to his old self during my visit.

We took walks up and down the hallway with his rolling IV pole in tow. He had brain cancer, but he “wanted to stay in shape”. I don’t know why that is funny to me now; maybe because I would want to do the exact same thing. I’d want to run and walk repeats up and down the hallway as best I could. My family doesn’t go quietly into the night. If we have to go, we will go kicking, screaming, and fighting every inch of the way.

Anyway, I am way off topic. The memorable moment from the hospital came when Dad had one of his rare vulnerable moments. He told me “Tom, I always saw things in black and white. People kept telling me that there was gray, but I couldn’t see it, and it got me into trouble. There is gray out there.  You have to look for it.”

When your dad is in the hospital dying of cancer you tend to pay attention to what he is saying. I have never forgotten those words, but I continue to struggle with the message. I don’t know if I came to the viewpoint through nature, or nurture, or both, but I have the same affliction my dad spoke of when it comes to black and white. It’s the way I generally see the world, and I wonder if it’s really wrong.

I can see that there is gray in cooking, art, and yard work. I can see that there is gray in a host of things that do not involve principle. It is in matters of principle that I lock into my black and white uncompromising viewpoint. I don’t see gray when it comes to principles, and I wouldn’t encourage anyone to wander into gray when principle is involved. It may seem self-righteous, but when it comes to principles like honor, integrity, honesty, trust, compassion, friendship, loyalty, fairness, respect, and justice, I think black and white rigidity is called for.

I apologize for preaching to the choir. I can’t imagine an unprincipled person reading or having any interest in this blog. What I want to point out is the increasing numbers of people who are wandering into gray in matters of principle, and that we as a society tolerate it and condone it through our silence. Remember that evil flourishes when good men do nothing? Well, we are doing nothing, and major and minor evils flourish.

I see discourteous behavior in malls, restaurants, schools, and theaters. I see it on sidewalks and on the roads. I see rude and aggressive drivers every day on the way to and from work. I see it at work. I see it in sports. I see devious and outright dishonest marketing practices by businesses. I see unprincipled behavior by our banks and investment firms. I see unprincipled behavior by our politicians, our political parties, and by lobbyists. I see articles in the paper on Medicare fraud, mortgage fraud, insurance fraud, and tax evasion. I see articles about every kind of crime imaginable. I see all of this as the “Me First, Screw You” mentality of society today and it makes me sad.

So what’s the point, and how do I wrap up this rant? Thomas Jefferson wrote, “In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.”

Dad raised an interesting point, and I’ve pondered it for years. I think the Thomas Jefferson quote cuts to the essence of the issue. The trick is realizing which issues involve style, and which issues involve principle. It is black and white when it comes to principles. If I get into “trouble”, like Dad, over a matter of principle, so be it. I only hope I have the wisdom to recognize the difference between style and principle.