Suffering the Insufferable

I’ve met a lot of people over the years. I liked most of them, but I found a handful of folks to be difficult, if not impossible, to like. Their behavior made it so. Each of them had one or more objectionable traits that were so glaringly offensive that I just could not grant them an excuse. They weren’t all guilty of every offensive behavior, but collectively they were guilty of being insensitive, improper, arrogant, pompous, egotistical, aggressive, irritating, obnoxious, annoying, aggravating, rude, and selfish. (Boy did that feel GOOD!) I don’t think that I have chosen to dislike them. Instead I like to think that they, by their behavior, have chosen to make themselves unlikeable. That’s what I would like to think.

For example, there is a man who I have had no success in finding a way to like in any fashion. He is arrogant, aggressive, aggravating, and other words beginning with the letter “a” may apply. He shows up for meetings late, and leaves early. He talks incessantly as if his voice is the only voice that should be heard. He doesn’t have conversations; he delivers monologues. He eats up all the oxygen in any meeting room. You are wrong and he is right. His phone goes off in the middle of important meetings and he steps outside for ten minutes or more. His behavior says that he is more important than anyone else, or all of us put together.

Did I choose to dislike this man, or did he by his behavior dictate that it would be so? His behavior is so objectionable that it is difficult to set it aside and see anything positive beyond it. It’s like staring directly into a massive search light; I can’t possibly see anything beyond the light itself. It’s blinding. The same can be said for the other boors I’ve had the displeasure to meet.

And yet there is the Christian ethic to love your fellow man, or even more difficult, to love the unlovable. Will Rogers said “I never met a man I didn’t like” and the Bible says,
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:27-31

The platitudes are simple concepts. I know what I am supposed to do. I know what is right. And I also know how the ding-dong is going to behave; just like he always does, and I vow to do better, to be gracious to the ungracious, to suffer the insufferable, to suffer the fool gladly. I just wish that the ungracious insufferable fool wouldn’t make it so difficult for me!

And when I fail again for the umpteenth time it is especially hard to take. I knew how he would be, and I knew how I wanted to be, and to know that in advance and still fail fills me with a sense of shame and regret. I wanted to be bigger than I was in the past. I wanted to be better than before, but my blood boils in spite of all my mental preparations.

He is oblivious, and he can’t help himself. He cannot experience remorse because he is totally unaware of his bad behavior . . .

And I am painfully aware, and I still can’t help myself, and that is all the more galling.

Maybe next time I can be better than I am.

May God grant me the tolerance and patience to suffer the fools gladly . . . NOW!