Read this one slowly. It is a bit tricky.
I’ve come to the realization that I have no idea whether this blog is anything more than an excellent example of bad writing and boring stories. In the absence of any feedback or information to the contrary I thought I might be able to work out logically whether or not to continue this exercise.
1. If the stories are good and my writing is good, then I should definitely continue.
2. If the stories are good and my writing is bad, then maybe I should stop embarrassing myself.
3. If the stories are bad and my writing is good, then maybe I should stop wasting my time.
4. If the stories are bad and my writing is bad, then I should definitely stop!
5. If nobody is reading this, then it’s all irrelevant anyway.
The problem is that I cannot know, or do not want to know, whether the “IF” portion of the logic statements are true.
If family and friends say something nice about the blog, which is exactly what I want to hear, I cannot entirely believe them because they may simply be sparing my feelings.
On the other hand, if they say the stories stink and/or the writing stinks, I will believe them because no one would say such a thing if it were not true, but that is exactly what I don’t want to hear.
If I hear nothing at all, then I am left in a position of self-doubt where I suspect the worst is true, which is exactly where I am.
So there is no way out of this conundrum. If the truth is good news, I can’t believe it. If the truth is bad news, I don’t want to hear it. If I hear nothing, I suspect the worst. There is no upside to this logic. It is my own personal Kobayashi Maru scenario. (A famous Star Trek no-win scenario designed to test character)
The only solution for me is to remain blissfully ignorant. It’s a sad piece of logic that takes the fun out of this project. ‘Tis a pity. I guess I will keep on writing and posting stuff into the void of the internet, but, as blues singer B. B. King said, “The thrill is gone”. I think the writing is better, and certainly easier, if I continue to suffer delusions of adequacy. I will try to find my way back to that happy place of delusion. I liked dwelling there.
Again I would agree: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Socrates apparently said that at his trial for heresy. And in reading some of your posts, maybe you need a modern heresy trial to keep focused.
ReplyDeleteIn my genealogical researches, I've often wished I could get better insight into what several levels of great grandparents experienced...but few, or no written records survive. I find it interesting and it can become an extensive piece for the family archives. Keep it up. U.Bill
Bill - thanks for the boost. Just the words I need to keep on keepin' on. The Socrates quote is one of my favorites. I also believe he chose death rather than the unexamined life!
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ReplyDeleteThanks