Hugs

Hugging is a regional pastime for southerners. Southerners will hug the grocery store clerk if she smiles. I am a native Iowan and hugging is a problem for me. Folks from the Midwest just don’t hug each other. In my native culture (Iowa) it was okay to hug your children when they are small, and your spouse. If you were still in the girlfriend stage you only hugged her when your folks weren’t looking. Everyone else got a hearty handshake. So, spending my adult years in Georgia has been a culture shock.

I truly am a stranger in a strange land. All too often I have been hugged/mugged by southern women. I don’t mind when I see it coming, but it’s a shock when they grab you uninvited. And exactly what is the protocol? When I hugged my girlfriend (now wife) I was looking for all the body contact I could get. (That one grossed out my kids.) In one of these social hugs is anything supposed to touch, or not? I’d like to know! I think my wife would appreciate it if the only parts that touched were, well, a hearty handshake would do just fine.

Turning this discussion to the serious side, I remember being about 10 years old and giving my mom and dad a hug and kiss goodnight. Dad said to me, “Aren’t you getting a little old to be hugging and kissing your dad goodnight?” I presumed from his comment that my behavior was inappropriate, so I quit the habit the very next night. I don’t recall our ever hugging again. Looking back, I think that was sad. Jean and I decided when our kids were born that we were going to hug and kiss them early, late, often, and always; both of them.

Our son, John, began year-round swimming with the Dynamo Swim Club in the fall of 1995 when he was entering the fifth grade, and Jean and I went through the training to become certified stroke and turn officials for U.S. Swimming. During John’s high school years we followed him to swim meets all over the southeast and officiated at those meets. Our favorite memories of those meets are standing alone on the deck of the pool officiating for long hours, and those special moments when our huge hulking teenage son walked up to give us each a hug and a kiss in front of god and everybody. Those were great moments.