Gotta Love It

Back when I was in high school there was this guy, Dennis O, who was a gifted and successful wrestler at a neighboring school. (Why couldn’t that have been me?) His name was in the newspaper all the time. When Dennis entered Coe College he didn’t wrestle at all and the story behind this was an item of great speculation amongst the jock community. It was generally assumed that he could have been a 4-time conference champion and might have placed at the Div-III national meet. It was a great curiosity that he gave up wrestling. I was among the many at Coe who wondered why.


I got to know Dennis as a classmate during my years at Coe. I avoided asking Dennis why he gave up wrestling as I suspected that the answer had to be something deeply traumatic and emotional. It was beyond my ability to imagine a set of circumstances where, if I had his talent, that I would give up wrestling other than through a life-threatening illness or some deep psychological trauma. I was convinced that wrestling had to be a deeply painful topic for Dennis.


So one day, late in our time at Coe, in the normal course of conversation the topic did come up without my having to raise it, and I’ve never forgotten Dennis’s answer to the unasked question. He said, “You know, Tom, I never loved wrestling. I was good at it, but I never loved it. So I really didn’t sacrifice anything to ‘give up’ wrestling. There was just a bunch of other things I preferred to spend my time on.”


It is forty years later now and I am still blown away by that “aha” moment. He never loved wrestling? I’d never thought of that as a possibility, but of course, if you don’t love it, why would you do it? Certainly he is better off searching for, and spending time on, activities he did love. It made perfect logical sense for Dennis, but not for me. Also, if he did not love the sport, ultimately, he wasn’t going to be successful at it. But still, it was pretty painful for me, the guy who lacks the talent, to watch another guy with talent “give up” the sport I love.